Does she REALLY love me? (For married women only)?

Due to an infidelity from my part, my wife decided to break her relationship with my family. It's been 5 years since I disclosed the affair and TOTALLY ended that mistake; but after enduring numerous well deserved tongue lashings and cold treatments, she stills refuses to re-establish contact with my family and she does not want to go to counseling so we can work on our marriage.





Even though she says she has forgiven me and no longer treats me with contempt, she refuses to budge on the area of counseling or to reconnect with my family.





When you see your spouse broken and asking you to please do something as simple as going to a Thanksgiving dinner or Family Christmas gathering. Or better yet, to embrace harmony in the family and she still refuses, Does she really love me? Did I kill her love for me?





How can I let her know that the longer she keeps this up the less and less I feel connected with her? Not just because she won't talk to my family, but because she refuses to see that there is a problem in our marriage and won't do anything about it.





Any words of wisdom?Does she REALLY love me? (For married women only)?
Before sharing my words of wisdom, I have a question. What is her reason for deciding to remove herself from your family? The two things don't seem connected.... so is there something more here?





OK. Words of wisdom. Yes, tell her that her choices are distancing you from her. Tell her your feelings about that. Also tell her that, from your perspective, your marriage is not going to survive unless the two of you get marital counseling. If she still refuses, you have a choice to make: either put up with what she is doing, knowing that nothing is going to get any better, or make a decision to file for divorce. Whatever happens, I wish you well.Does she REALLY love me? (For married women only)?
Your family's rude comments that she deserved it, because of how she was with you, really sum's it up, don't you think? If this is how they view her when you are the one who was in the wrong, please tell me how you ever expect her to stand in a room with these people, let alone talk to them. You sound like an educated man, you cannot tell me you really expect her, to subject herself to people like this, do you?
Why did she break contact with your family? Were they aware of the infidelity and didn't tell her? Did they have anything to do with your infidelity? If so, then she will probably continue to have trust issues with them. She might still love you, but you will have to work on earning her trust in you again everyday for the rest of your life.
Maybe she is embarrassed and she doesnt want your family to think she is a bimbo or something for not divorcing your cheating @$$???





Dude you deserve it, your asking if she loves YOU....she didnt cheat YOU cheated...that shows how much you love her, she isnt the problem YOU are!





Stop blaming your problems and your mistakes on her, who in your marriage has been the FAITHFULL one!
She may love you. But she's unable to forgive/trust you. Infidelity is basically an unbelievable pain that leaves deep scars.


As for your family, they're a part of you, and evidently back you up, which leaves her on the 'outside'.
to a certain degree, she deserves it because of the way she has been with you-


Those words are why your wife does not want contact with your family. Wake up- How hurt do you think that made her feel ? They were blaming her for your infidelity.I dont blame her one bit
well WHY is she not talking to your family!
As a married women, and alot of experience with inlaws, I have to say


that your wife has every reason to feel the way she does about your family. It sounds like your family doesn't think she's good for you or being very supportive or her either.





You were the one that cheated, not your wife. Your lucky she forgave you to begin with. I wouldn't of. When family gets involved, it just makes matters so much worse. Some things should be kept more private between a married couple. I think she loves you, since she has forgiven you, but I wouldn't expect her to form any bonds with your family members any time soon or ever.
There's some really good comments here already. I agree, things need to be private in a marriage. Some things just don't get shared with family. Family will always take your side and can alienate your spouse. It sounds to me like this embarrassed her, and now she feels ganged up on.


Honesty, and trust me, it's miserable for her too. My husband (in the early years) ran to his mom every time we fought. As a result all this woman knew about me was what he told her during an argument. Our relationship became very strained and was almost nonexistent for a long time. It also strained my marriage as well, and I couldn't stand for them to visit and for me to be the bad guy all the time. What helped me? I had it out with my husband. That helped. And if I get the feeling that my in-laws are 'ganging' up on me, well, I tell them right out.





Yes, she loves you. She's had her trust broken with you, and humiliated by her in-laws, but it sounds as though she loves you, but cannot handle your family.


So, what's more important to you, them or her. I would get everyone in the room and stick up for her to them, right in front of her. Things like ';You have no right to say that about my wife'; Show her you are on her side and that the two of you are one.
She may ask herself that question. Part of her does want the marriage to go on. Forgiven, but not forgotten. Some stay because it makes good financial sense or just for the children. The fact that she has forgiven you says alot. As for your family, you may have to forgive her and turn it over to God. I heard when I was getting married the following: ';Don't tell your family about your fights.'; (when I asked why not I was told:) ';because you'll forgive him but they never will.'; Whatever you end up with, it will be with a new type of love mixed in. Good luck.
Well I think it's horrible that you had an affair. HOWEVER... I also think it's great you ended it and admitted that you did something wrong, but that is besides the point.





I think part of her might not want to reconnect with your family because she feels humiliated by the situation. Maybe she is embarrassed to show face to your parents, siblings, etc. If she is not willing to go to counseling and has lashed out at you, I don't think she's really truly forgiven you. I think she is saying it out loud, but she hasn't really forgiven you from her heart. Maybe that hurt is still in her and it's hard for her to let go.





It's pretty clear that you feel bad, let her know that you would never do anything like that again to hurt her, and if you really want to rebuild that trust again, make her realize that counseling is the best way to do that.





Good luck to you both.
yo im telling some woman will get back at you because situations (infidelity) like this. my friend told me about his the cheated on his wife, she forgave him too and basically pretend that everything was keen. asking for money her and their and she was saving the his money to buy her an apartment. she was cheating on him and everything and she broke his heart for breaking hers. most women are like this, pay back is a ........








i dont know about the whole family thing, but maybe she is plotting to leave you and is wondering whether or not to stay in contact with your family( it is just a thought man, dont take it seriously... try asking her though).





this can go anyway... i seriously suggest you pray that you guys can make it better again. adultery is a serious thing man. thousands of years ago men and women were killed for that, its really serious.
maybe the thought of her husband sleeping with some other woman plays back in her mind constantly and if your family knew anything about it and didnt tell her that stinks. forgive and forget is what the saying is but she will never forget and the trust is out the door even if you were to try to work it out which is what i did. she will every now and then or constantly bring it up in arguments that you broke your promise to be with her only dude you messed up I think she really did love you and thats why its hurts so bad to find out there has been infidelity good luck some scars just dont heal
If your family knew of this affair and did nothing then they have also betrayed her trust and its up to them to make admends with her not the other way around...you should be grateful she has forgiven you but forgive does not mean forget talk with her and tell her how you feel... but if you demand that she changes the way she feels then you are again betraying her its completely her choice at this point and you have to admitt that you are the original cause of this issue