How do you reconnect with your spouse after a baby?

My husband and I were married for 5 years before we had our daughter. She is eight months now and we just can't get enough of her. She is amazing. But I feel pretty distant from him, emotionally and physically. Its almost like we are friends, which we are. We laugh a lot and don't fight that much but I want a husband not just a friend. I have to be honest and say that our married sex life has never been that great. I have a mental desire to be close to him but not a physical one, but I do wan that too. How do I get it back? We love each other very much and I want this marriage to last. Any advice? Serious comments only please.How do you reconnect with your spouse after a baby?
There sure are a lot of changes that occur once the family begins. I know we went through many different things with each child that joined our happy home. It is simply par for the course as they say.





For us, we had to find something else, something that we could spend time together focusing on, but not the intimacy or physical thing as our primary interaction, for different reasons I am sure you understand.





It takes time to get back into the old routine, and honestly we were not sure we liked it all that well to begin with.So, we started to study together different things until we found what interested us both. This way we spent quality time together without either of us having to feel pressure to perform so to speak.





Here is a link that might help explain more if you are interested. I hope it might allow for something in answering your question. Congrats on your new wonderful addition, and best wishes to you and your husband as you find something to share that is just between the two of you! Peace....RiverHow do you reconnect with your spouse after a baby?
i would recommend three things:


';getting the love you want'; is a great book for this


another thing i recommend is tantra - focusing on the sensual aspects of being together. start with date night beginning with sensual massage - use a DVD lesson. take ballroom dance lessons or something that requires touching. you can get this going.


one other thing to connect with him on an emotional level is the book


';nonviolent communication'; by marshall rosenberg. it shows you how to connect to others by using empathy.


unless you meet each other's needs your marriage is going down an unsatisfying path which will lead to its death. you see this so take action to turn it around. it's worth it, for your daughter's sake to have a vibrant, alive marriage relationship.
You need to simply work on it. The key is to create time for yourselves as a couple that doesn't revolve around your daughter. Do special things together and open up and talk about your sex life and how to improve it for each of you. I know it isn't easy to talk about those things but in the end once you are able to do so it will improve more than just your sex life together.
My husband and I were the same way. We have a 3 year old. It got to the point where I would feel awkward making a move on him. We were more like friends. Now things are much better. I think you should get a babysitter and either have a nice romantic dinner out or better yet in. Just spend some alone time together, watch a movie on the couch together, hold hands. Try to either bring the romance back or start the romance. Good luck!
Men get close BY being physical.





I am being totally honest here.





If you don't feel like getting freaky, you need to get your hormones checked. Men won't go without sex for too long. Ask the chick who blocked me after her husband cheated three months post baby.
jump his bones!lol
You might talk with your doctor. When a woman has a baby, her hormones can get all out of whack. It can really mess with your libido (desire to have sex). After my first child was born, I had no desire at all for several months. When I finally talked with my doctor, he prescribed some medication for post-partum depression. I only took it for a few weeks, but it made all the difference.


Another reason may be that you are too tired. After taking care of the baby, and the house, plus working outside of home (if you work) you have no energy left. You could try a multivitamin daily. Also, find someone to babysit for you occasionally while you and your husband go on a date.


It will get better. Good luck!
Hi rita,well congratulations on the new arrival loads of work ahead of you now,i remember when my first boy was born,i felt a bit pushed aside to be quite honest,i know that sounds crazy,but it was always me %26amp; her by ourselves,then along came this bundle of joy that took up all our time and had us both exhausted,that went on until we sat and talked about why i was being pushed aside,that was the way i felt,he could be feeling like this,even though my wife wasn't doing this on purpose,it just takes a bit of adjustment,but you need to find time for yourselves and get it sorted before it develop es into a big deal,


best of luck,


martyn
Hire a babysitter once a week (or a family member), and start dating each other again. This will help you guys keep the spark going by fostering those intimate, close moments. Once you feel intimate again, then the sex will follow. I would also consider seeing a sex therapist, as they will be able to help you guys open up new lines of communication, which is absolutely necessary for a good sex life. I think especially if you didn't have a good sex life before the baby, that part won't really change too much, even if the intimacy improves.
yeah babies can do this to a couple..lol....being a sexual person is a mental thing..thinking about sex and getting aroused is very mental...so maybe some reading of say a romantic novel or just some kind of books that have say love seans in them that get described in detail..there is books on getting sexual after babie comes...i don't know any titles. after being with the same person for a while it does take some work and wanting things to be spiced up..you just have to want to make the effort to do these things. as you get more involved with kids it even takes more work for a marriage to stay spiced up...most time after a baby the woman don't feel or look sexy no more..i was luck my wife got more sexual after giving birth and breast feeding. so the things she would do would make me excited..and seemed to up my sex drive also. don't get me wrong a crying baby sure can kill the sex drive or lose the mood real fast..lol...even 3 years later things are still good and i guess her hormones kicked in..she is still milking so we just make the best of that too...so getting your mind set and just thinking about sex and sexy things or trying to think up new things to do can get you aroused during the day so you will be more ready at night...good luck i know you can do it..