Nursing School is Ruining My Marriage?

My husband has been going to nursing school for 1 1/2 years now. I'm happy that he's going because in the long run it will be great for us but it has really taken a toll on our marriage. We have a toddler at home and it seems as if she never gets to see her father.





I work 10 hours a day, raise the baby, and do all of the housework.





Has anyone else had a spouse go to nursing school? How is your marriage? Do you have any tips for reconnecting with your spouse when time is so limited? Thanks!Nursing School is Ruining My Marriage?
My life is crazy right now. I've been married for 1 year, I just had twins and I'm in med school. I can't imagine doing school right now, but then I have twins and have to get up twice as much as a single mom. My brain is fried from sleep deprivation. My husband says this is good practice for when I am an intern but luckily he is there for me and takes care of just about everything. Although he is in school, you shouldn't be stuck doing everything. I'm a med student and I still cook and get up in the middle of the night for my kids. I couldn't be happier with the way he handles things. You need to have a talk with your hubby.Nursing School is Ruining My Marriage?
Of course it is very difficult at this time. However, look at the future! Sure right now you are having to carry most of the load, due to school and the study time involved. However, I am sure that after all is said and done things will lighten up and your work load will decrease. Think of it this way, if the two of you divorce you will be full time single mom!


Schedule date times to reconnect between finals and exams, it will take a bit of creativity on your part; however I am sure you can pull it off. Good luck! The education will be worth it in so many ways it will improve your life I am sure.
I am a nursing student. Nursing school is a very overwhelming experience. I am always stressed There is just so much pressure, family, financial, patients, schoolwork the list goes on... The school I go to has significant other support meetings. I am not married so i take my mother. I would talk to the dean over the nursing department, or some of the instructors. I know it is hard to talk to others about it, but it has helped for my family to understand things better. I try to plan one day a week when i have a ';free'; day. No matter how much i have to do i take a day or a good part of the day to do what i want to do. You and your husband could plan a date night, or a family game night. I know others in the nursing program who do similar things. I wish you and your husband the best of luck.
My husband is a busy attorney and housework is a fact of life. Your job now is to take care of your family. Get off the computer and quit griping! He is studying and you are whining!
You have to make the time to be together. He also has to make time for his children. It will be fine just make sure to talk.....
I went through nursing school with a wife and three kids, and our fourth was born while I was a student. Yes, it was hard on all of us - but I made sure I spent time with the family. We all made it through, and I added a nursing degree to my previous academic successes.


Reconnecting? We never drifted apart while I was in school. I forced myself to make time for the marriage and the kids. It simply was important to me. No, I didn't carry a four-point average - but I passed all my exams. And when I took state boards, I scored in the top five percent on all sections.


That's the key - you have to make time for family and for schoolwork. It can indeed be exhausting - I wouldn't want to try to do it now that I'm in my sixties.


One thing more - the other partner has to be willing to endure a high level of anxiety and stress for the sake of the family as well as his. Good luck with that. My marriage eventually failed - but it was not due to my going to nursing school. Hell, my wife at the time was a nurse too! She knew what I was enduring and how hard I had to work. There were other factors that ended that relationship. Hopefully yours will fare better than mine did.
Im on the opposite end...I work full time, and go to nursing school,lol...my boyfriend and I have a toddler at home but its us that don't get to see him because he works nights...I raise our baby, plus do all the housework also...we have weekends to see each other though...and we try to see each other whenever we can besides on the weekends...The only advice I can give besides maybe some scheduling changes is to try to make the most of the time you DO have together...Like for us when the weekend comes or one of the nights I DO get to see him I try to connect with him as much as possible like taking away the TV so that we can talk and connect while we cuddle...we try to call each other on our breaks too...I know its hard but I tell myself the same thing...it'll be worth it, in a couple years Ill be done with school and he's going to switch to days than we'll have plenty of money coming in (which by the way ive heard is the #1 cause for divorce..money problems..) just tell yourself the same thing I tell myself ';its for the kid'; and try to make the most of the time you have together..on the plus side too much time together can cause fights...absence makes the heart grow fonder :o)
You should have waited to have children until he finished. Since you didn't, he should wait to finish school until after your children are in school themselves, or he should cut back his schooling to part time. Parenting is a commitment, not a hobby. You can't just skimp on fatherhood, it's not fair to the kids.





Unfortunately, men all too often choose career over family, leaving the mother to do everything. This robs the child of his father, and leaves the child tended by a tired mother. Neither situation is conducive to raising a stable family.





If he decides to continue his schooling, then hold off on any other children until his career is stabilized. You are adults and you should make career decisions responsibly.





As for reconnecting, you'll have to accept that things have changed, and you'll have to put yourself in last place in the hierarchy. Career, your daughter, then you. This is only temporary, and to make sure you don't fall out of love, romance each other. Make a date twice a week, once for lunch, and once for an evening out. For the lunch, a quick snack while you leave your daughter with a friend or relative is in order. For your evening out, hire a sitter, do dinner and some type of entertainment that isn't appropriate for your daughter, so you're not tempted to bring her along.





Don't skimp on time, even if money's tight. There are plenty of coffee houses that have open mike nights, and other places that have poetry readings or art shows for free. Don't be snobbish about entertainment, open your mind, and expand your horizons. Especially if you're trying things that neither of you are really into, you'll grow closer by experiencing the unfamiliar together, and you need at least one night a week where babies aren't discussed at all.





Good luck. Don't punish your husband for trying to make a better life, but don't let him completely off the hook. Instead of divying up the chores, try doing some of them together, like I'll wash and you dry, I'll weed while you plant, etc.
It is very hard to juggle nursing school or any school for that matter and a marriage, much less with a child! My husband has been a nurse now for about a year and half and we have a one year old. I know first hand that it is so hard to have time to yourselves after all the school and work and time with the baby. The best thing I could tell you is to make sure that the toddler is on a routine with his/her sleeping (nap time and bedtime) and take that time to spend it with your husband. If he's already been in school for a year and a half then you shouldn't have much longer at all!!! Just try to be patient because it is well worth it! He is trying to better himself for you and your family and it is hard for him as well. My husband is going into grad school now and it's still hard but I know after this 28months then he will be done (finally) and we will be set financially and for our 2 kids and we will have the rest of our lives to spend together. Try to have a date night or a lunch at least once a week to communicate. You have to have some sort of communication, on the phone or a little note but try the date nights! Oh, and one last thing, when he's not home or busy studing try to keep yourself busy, it makes time go by much faster!
when my youngest was born my husband was doing the same. he graduated with his certificate as an lpn when she was 2. i had the same issues as you, except i did not work 10 hours a day, i worked 6. also had another child in the home. he was in school 40+ hours a week between classes and clinicals, and still worked 40 hours in the e.r. midnights. i still do not know how we made it. it was hard on all 4 of us. there was no time for us at all. all his ';free time'; was left for him to sleep or study. we had family and married time only when he was on break from school. my advise to you... he is stressed beyond what you will ever know. a lot is riding on him. be supportive. pick up the slack with a smile on your face. help him by letting him concentrate on what he is doing not harping on what he's NOT doing. when it's over, things will settle out. i know for a fact...it did for us, and now mine is going back for his r.n. it gets easier when the kids are older.